Dinosaurs
Dinosaurs, my friends, are the cause for all the world's problems today.
For you see, it was the dinosaurs, who created religion - they knew it would screw the beings-to-come over. Don't understand how? Allow me to explain:
The meteor that wiped most of the dinosaurs out, you remember that from elementary school at least I would hope, well it was faked, by the dinosaurs. Well, the smart ones at least; here's how:
The aliens, the pesky buggers that built the pyramids, transported the two smartest dinosaurs from each species, both a male and female alike, for reproduction purposes of course. These pyramids were built to show the pick up point for these dinosaurs. The lucky ones, were taken to a new planet created just for them, called the Lost Planet.
Now, these are the one's that escaped the meteor, the rest, the "Rejects" as I like to call them, did not know what was going on, and thought they were the lucky ones. In memory of their lost friends, they transcribed onto papyrus (invented by stegosauruses, not the Egyptians) a story of these great boats coming and taking these pairs of dinosaurs aboard, with their lights beaming so bright the earth could not be seen. This is also how we get the many 'Great Flood' stories appearing all around the world. Well, this document, was taken to a cave in the Mediterranean, placed in the heart of the earth it would remain safe. Of course moments later the meteor struck the earth, destroying all the rejected dinosaurs and dropping the temperature of the earth, thereby freezing everything and beginning a new ice age. The document was then frozen in the cave, protected from the scars of time.
It was then, that Pope Jesuhammed, uncovered the document, and, not being fluent in Dinoese, he mistakingly created Christianity, Islam, and Judaism all at once. Although, their appearances were not all turned up at the same lapse in time, the Jesuhammed line kept it secret until it was "time" for them to appear. Which was of course a bad time really, as the people were poor, starving, and chaotic, and found this to be a passport to a "better life", which then caused the Western World to succumb to religion.
This is how the dinosaurs ruined the world. As well as the fact I cannot get a pet velociraptor to devour all of the stupid people I come across immediately.
If you actually take any of this seriously, please go outside, read a book, and stay off the internet forever.
For you see, it was the dinosaurs, who created religion - they knew it would screw the beings-to-come over. Don't understand how? Allow me to explain:
The meteor that wiped most of the dinosaurs out, you remember that from elementary school at least I would hope, well it was faked, by the dinosaurs. Well, the smart ones at least; here's how:
The aliens, the pesky buggers that built the pyramids, transported the two smartest dinosaurs from each species, both a male and female alike, for reproduction purposes of course. These pyramids were built to show the pick up point for these dinosaurs. The lucky ones, were taken to a new planet created just for them, called the Lost Planet.
Now, these are the one's that escaped the meteor, the rest, the "Rejects" as I like to call them, did not know what was going on, and thought they were the lucky ones. In memory of their lost friends, they transcribed onto papyrus (invented by stegosauruses, not the Egyptians) a story of these great boats coming and taking these pairs of dinosaurs aboard, with their lights beaming so bright the earth could not be seen. This is also how we get the many 'Great Flood' stories appearing all around the world. Well, this document, was taken to a cave in the Mediterranean, placed in the heart of the earth it would remain safe. Of course moments later the meteor struck the earth, destroying all the rejected dinosaurs and dropping the temperature of the earth, thereby freezing everything and beginning a new ice age. The document was then frozen in the cave, protected from the scars of time.
It was then, that Pope Jesuhammed, uncovered the document, and, not being fluent in Dinoese, he mistakingly created Christianity, Islam, and Judaism all at once. Although, their appearances were not all turned up at the same lapse in time, the Jesuhammed line kept it secret until it was "time" for them to appear. Which was of course a bad time really, as the people were poor, starving, and chaotic, and found this to be a passport to a "better life", which then caused the Western World to succumb to religion.
This is how the dinosaurs ruined the world. As well as the fact I cannot get a pet velociraptor to devour all of the stupid people I come across immediately.
If you actually take any of this seriously, please go outside, read a book, and stay off the internet forever.
Labels: Dinosaurs, humour, noah's ark
posted by Jimithias at 2:19 PM
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